Posted by: zebbook | July 3, 2012

I Am Who I Am – by Dupe Killa

You were so sure I loved you; that I got your back wherever, whenever.
You knew you could go to sleep in the strange places we sometimes got up to knowing I was nearby. You once confided in someone about me; declaring your confidence in me and how you could stake a lot of money on my loyalty.

I Am Who I am.
Always there, never late. Your family initially wary but soon won over. That time you were desperately down. And it was as if I would die. I wouldn’t eat; drink even. All I wanted was to see the smile back on your face. Your cracked lips, moistened.

I Am Who I am.
It was I who organised the surprise parties. It was I who cleaned up after; making sure every minute counted for you. You knew what I was about: I just wanted to show you how much you were worth; at least a fraction of it. It is so easy to love you.

I Am Who I am.
The one who felt the pain of rejection right along with you. Funny how even though you never told the whole story, I knew almost to the instant, when your heart was so savagely crushed. It was I who struggled with you; finding the pieces of you with you. Like a newly disabled learning to walk again, I took baby steps with you in the quest for new love. All the way ensuring you did not sink into that yawning abyss of pain and rejection.

Except That I Am But human.
When you were not looking, I dropped the ball. I slipped and let you down. I got careless; cocky even. Oh how I did. And that heart which I have so jealously guarded against pain, I by my own hands tore. As if possessed, I said to hell… To hell with all these sacrifices, afterall my gain was just sightings of your smiles. It was hollow whilst it lasted let me tell you now, my rebellion. It was hollow then, more so now.

I Am Who I am.
Old habits are hard to break and your forgiveness I dearly crave. Why won’t you forgive me? Does it count for nought, my hitherto ceaseless dedication? Would you not save a soul from Hades if it were in your power? Is it so painful for you to see that I am human, flesh, blood and all frailties in between? Does my lapse remind you of something of you? Something you’d rather not be confronted with? What are you most scared of?

This is Me.
Time is running out.
We have this one life for sure, other assurances but possibilities.
Won’t you let us try again?

I Am Who I am.
The one who knows all your jokes but still find it a laugh.
The one with the quick comeback when your back is against the wall
No more than a friend; yet happy just to have you happy.

But now I am in the wilderness.
Waiting for you to set me free
To be your friend again and …
Be that which I am.

ImageTrue Friendship rarely break into anything other than straight fissures… Totally fixable. Save your friendships…

 

Dupe Killa (July, 2008)

Follow @DupeKilla on twitter

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Responses

  1. This is lovely. ​i love the last paragraph….so true

  2. Waoooooooooooow!!!!!

  3. This is a great piece. Wow.Very true

  4. Its incredible what the mind can conceive, incredible how true they can be; its incredible how ignorant we are of our little time here, and how we go about rebuilding also baffles.
    Relationships are contained of intricate realities that are not always obvious in the beginning, we falter….we fail to acknowledge……and if we do, we care less about the consequences.
    I love this piece, Exposed the intricacies of human behaviour in simple yet very accurate terms! We are who we are……..Humans!
    Four years ago, and its well written piece from my twitmum.

  5. Beautiful…..heart rending and just so apt. The best of man is still a man.

  6. Is it so painful for you to see that I am human, flesh, blood and all frailties in between?’
    Friends sometimes forget that we all err and no-one is perfect.
    Lovely, mum… Lovely poem. I am who I am, accept me, just as I am.


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